38 yer olds are good kisserssss
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you had me at cake vodka
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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