Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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