its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
