I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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