I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
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