Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
