she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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