reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
