I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
