Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I need to align my fucking chakras
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
