can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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