I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
