It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
