Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
They took my balls.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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