We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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