every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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