I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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