Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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