Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
