they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
