I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize