hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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