i love accidental penises.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
