You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
