i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
last night I used snow as a chaser
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
