My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
