The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
