He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
