I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
should my penis look like a turkey
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
