Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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