I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
