Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
