I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
