And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
