There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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