And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
