2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
