he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i dont even know how to be here
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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