i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
