can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
