you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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