did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
