i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
