I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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