I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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