It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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