Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Your tits are I can't wait for
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
