Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
