Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
why do cheetos always look like penises
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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