sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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