last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
