doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
