So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
it glows. i had to have it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
