It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
