Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
