How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
