she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
