i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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