So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
