I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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