i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
