I look better un-naked...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
