New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
tell your sister to shave her snatch
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The Olympian is in my bed
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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